The other day, after running errands in town, I called my daughter-in-love (some say daughter-in-law), Stacey on the telephone to see if I could take my granddaughter, Tessa, for a swim at the local health club. Stacey replied, "Why, sure." I hadn't taken Tessa, who is 14 months old, for a swim in almost 8 months, and I was looking forward to taking her again.
When I arrived at Stacey's, I noticed that Stacey was just returning from a walk with Tessa, and remembered when my husband and I had babysat Tessa a few days before that she was returning from a walk. There had been a group of teenagers on skateboards making a lot of noise until at least 10PM. The grinding of the skateboard wheels on the street seemed quite harsh. The noise had been so much for Stacey that she was going on lots of walks to get away from it.
Anyhow, we decided to sit out in front of Stacey's and have a little chat. I told Stacey about some of the wonderful healing results I'd been having using EFT, and asked how she was doing. Stacey told me that she was really having a hard time with the skaters across the street, part of family that had moved in five months ago. Their teenagers were into skateboarding. She was so upset about the noise that she pointed to a real estate magazine and said that they were thinking about finding another home. She also mentioned that the new owner was a lawyer.
I asked her if she would like to do EFT to see if we could help with how upset she felt. She asked, "What about Tessa? You came to have fun with Tessa." I said that if Tessa's mom felt better, I would also be giving a gift to Tessa. Stacey agreed to give it a try. I'll do my best to remember how we did the EFT because I didn't take any notes. Part of the time she was breastfeeding Tessa. Some of the time I was bouncing Tessa on my knee. Sometimes Tessa copied us by tapping on herself (very cute).
The main feeling that Stacey came up with was frustration. She said that her frustration level was a "10". Some of the set-up phrases we used were, "Even though:
- I feel so frustrated that those kids skate for hours and hours on end. I deeply and completely love and accept myself."
- I feel frustrated and upset because I feel helpless about them skating all of the time. I deeply..."
- I feel frustrated and helpless about the kids making noise. I deeply..."
- I feel frustrated that my new neighbor is a lawyer and he doesn't seem to be reasonable. I deeply..."
This was not a quick fix. Her SUDS level stayed high. I probably worked with her for an hour and a half. We went for a ride in the "way-back machine" and found a time when she felt really frustrated and humiliated in high school and tapped on that. It brought her SUDS level down a little, though she reported that is was still a "9".
Then I remembered to ask her how she knew that her SUDS was a still a "9" and she said that she still felt very frustrated. I asked if she could feel it in her body. She said that she could, though the heaviness she'd talked about had moved from her chest. The pain had started to move, and so we followed it. I am so glad I remembered to ask that important question. I then taught her that since the heaviness was no longer in her chest it meant that she had healed one issue, and that it was time to move on to the next. Stacey reported a tightness in her stomach. I asked, "If your stomach could speak, what would it say?"
She contemplated for a few seconds with her eyes closed, and then almost shouted, "Stop the noise!" Her SUDS level fell to a "7". Then I talked vividly about the sound of the skateboards grinding on the street late at night, and brought it up to a "10". Just thinking about the sound of the skateboard wheels had touched a raw nerve.
Another feeling that Stacey recognized was how helpless and angry she felt with the situation. She loved coming home from work to the quietness of her home. This was the way that she recharged her batteries--being at home where it is quiet (she teaches high school during the day). Some of the set-up phrases we came up with included, "Even though:
- I feel really angry that the kids across the street don't care for anybody except for themselves, I deeply..."
- I feel angry that the skaters woke me up, and that they didn't even seem to care about anybody but themselves, I deeply..."
- I feel pissed off that those "little immature kids" (this brought out a laugh) those "little brats" are totally unaware that they are keeping me up, I deeply and completely love and accept myself, and I forgive myself, and I forgive those little brats for being so immature."
We tapped on how helpless she felt. Even though she had been writing letters and joining together with members of her neighborhood, she felt that because the guy across the street was a lawyer they weren't going to be very successful. We tapped on her fear of having to sell her home that she loves so much. We tapped on her losing her "home." We also tapped that when she would hear the noise of the skateboard wheels she could turn the internal volume down so it wouldn't bother her in the same way that it had in the last five months. Also, we tapped on that she could stay centered even when the noise that grated on her nerves was there--that she could go to that peaceful place inside of herself that no one could touch--that no matter what was going on she could be at her center of peace.
We were able to get her SUDS level down to a "5". I asked how she knew it was a "5", and she said that she felt while she still felt it in her mind, the tightness in her stomach had disappeared. About an hour and a half had flown by since we started. She told me that, just like her husband (my son) I was very persistent. With a smile, I asked her "Where do you think he got it from?"
I called her the next day. She thanked me profusely. She felt as though she could finally eat because her stomach was relaxed and the tightness that had been there for months was gone. A few days later she added that the lawyer had sent a conciliatory letter, and that a workable compromise was finally within reach. Stacey's relief was palpable.
